I truly have no idea what the hell i'm doing. For a start, im not even paying attention to my spelling grammar punctuation, and i have ocd with that kinda stuff. im not even writing proper words! why? because i lack personality. i look at this one persons blog who inspires me so much(or is it envy?), and i see how she ''writes'' and suddenly let go of all my beliefs and go along with it. theoretically, i would like to be taking photos right now and after a raid of blogs and flickr, i feel a little lost. First of all, i have this group of photographers, makeup artists, models, etc.. from singapore, taking the most amazing edgy pictures. and i feel so inspired to try something like that, but to my knowledge i have no model who would be willing to pose for me seeing how i lack in experience (''maybe you should try going to photograph something then!'' um. no. i have my computer in front of me, my doors and curtains closed, why should i get off my lazy ass?), and looking at these pictures, i would probably need a 1000$ camera, and stylist, make up artist, and a hairstylist. (see?? i put an 'and' after a comma!! what is the world coming to...) so yea, the thought depresses me. And then i look at other amazing american blogs who write about glamour from the 60's - 80's and i feel inspired all over again.... thing is, its so much easier to do that because i actually know a few people who would look great with this look, but by the time i meet with them i will probably be sitting on my bed looking at 'edgy' pictures again and have forgotten all about my supposed 'inspiration'.
So yes, i have 0 personality. if i cant even decide what i like, how the hell am i going to have a personality?? urgh.
just so you see what im talking about, here are the 2 'inspiration' sources:
>i especially love the ones of the girl in the fur coat - the girl is so pretty, and the owner of the tumbler is the photographer(makes me so jealous, but i will get there one day? hopefully? pwease?)
>she is a makeup artist, doing all types of shoots but her makeup is really, really beautiful and innovative compared to what ive seen(i havent seen much, but her work makes me happy from the moment i see it)
>not inspired as much by this, but the guy(yes, its a guy) is sooo beautiful and has the most amazing features... i do think he goes a little far, but its always interesting to see the extremes of things
>amazing photgrapher, so young as well! his photos are simply beautiful. he shot some of the photos for the makeup artist above, and he is so inspired, but hes never been published! :(
>again, really talented photgrapher, and quite well known in singapore.malaysia.philippines
>makeup artist and former model, amazing work
>i saw this awhile ago and only came back to it in my most vulnerable state of mind... i wanna do this look now!!
>i love this, so much. i love the controlled curls, the real women, marion cotillard(french power!! haha) and everything :D
i rant so much...